Mafiosa (Blood for Blood #3) Page 21

  ‘Shut up,’ said Valentino, his weariness transforming into a biting cruelty. ‘Stop getting in their heads. It’s counterproductive.’

  ‘I am merely expressing curiosity,’ Felice pointed out.

  ‘Stronzate!’ Valentino levelled his uncle with a dark look, his finger raised in accusation. ‘You’re so full of shit, if you ever had an enema you’d evaporate into thin air.’

  The laugh burst out of me before I could stop it. It joined a spate of other sounds of uneasy amusement. Suddenly everyone was clearing their throats.

  Felice looked like he had been stabbed.

  He curled his lip, his words now thick with rage. ‘How dare you speak to me like that, you insolent, incompetent, ill-prepared—’

  ‘Basta!’ Luca shouted, his demeanour as feral as it had been with Nic. ‘One more word and you’ll lose your tongue.’

  Valentino seemed unaffected by his uncle’s tirade. Then again, he always wore the best mask. ‘You have work to do, Felice, and I have a family to run. Nic and Luca, I suggest you take some time apart from each other before this gets any more out of hand. Dom and Gino, you’re on security. CJ has been manning it alone long enough. Sophie, I want to see you in my office right now.’

  I wasn’t sure whether I should have been grateful or terrified, but Valentino was plucking me out of this impending shitstorm, and I didn’t have any choice but to follow him. He was the boss after all, and the last person I wanted to piss off. I traced a wide arc around the others, trying to catch Luca’s eye, to say something, anything, to make him feel like he wasn’t in this alone.

  He glanced at me, his face awash with confusion – with regret. I did the only thing I could think to do without stirring up more dissension. I smiled at him; it was shy, tentative almost, but I watched him exhale heavily, a kernel of relief caught in his expression.

  I shut the door to Valentino’s office behind us. Instead of rounding the desk and leaning across it, Valentino placed himself just opposite the leather armchair, and gestured for me to sit. It was almost like we were two old friends, about to have a catch-up. You know, if you disregarded the massive implosion and my starring role in it.

  I sat down opposite him, looking as contrite as I could. I did feel guilty for hurting Nic, but nothing in the world would convince me to erase that kiss from my memory, the lingering sensation of Luca’s lips on mine … I shut down my thoughts. I definitely did not want to get all hot and bothered in front of Valentino. It was already awkward enough given how similar they were in appearance.

  ‘Well, that was unexpected,’ he said evenly.

  ‘Yes …’ I tried to gauge his mood. He seemed totally impassive, lips set in a hard line, lids drawn low over his eyes. He was lethal, this kind-faced boy, who could snap in the blink of an eye – acid-tongued and cruel when he wanted to be, placid when he felt safe. ‘It kind of got out of hand.’

  ‘Which part?’ he asked wryly.

  Was he kidding? I was on my guard, sitting in what had now become my usual chair, my arms crossed, my legs crossed, my voice as neutral as I could make it.

  ‘I-I don’t know,’ I hedged. ‘All of it?’

  Valentino smiled – it was quick and sudden, like a light being switched on. ‘I don’t want to make this even more excruciating for you, Sophie.’

  ‘You don’t?’

  ‘No,’ he said, bemused. ‘Why would I?’

  ‘I thought you’d be mad.’

  Valentino shrugged. ‘I’m not in the habit of getting in the way of someone’s romantic inclinations.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Your happiness is your own to navigate …’ He paused, swallowed, and then added, ‘Luca’s happiness is his own.’

  ‘So we’re not in trouble?’ I asked, feeling a little bit like I was being set up.

  Valentino smiled at me again, a hint of his yellowing teeth winking through. ‘For falling in love?’ Heat crawled into my cheeks. ‘No,’ he said quietly, answering his own question. ‘You’re not in trouble.’

  I lifted my brows. ‘So, then …’

  ‘You’re wondering why you’re here?’ He gestured to the hallway behind me. ‘I thought you might want a few moments of composure, away from the fighting and the arguing, not to mention my uncle’s endless propensity for other people’s drama.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said, letting my guard down just a little. ‘I appreciate the reprieve.’

  ‘Did you think I wouldn’t be sympathetic? That I wouldn’t understand?’ he asked me.

  His voice had gone a little funny. We were in uncharted waters, and all I knew for certain was that Valentino was sad about something. I couldn’t guess at what it was; there was a wall between us, and he was keeping it there, deliberately.

  ‘I don’t know,’ I told him quietly. ‘You always seem so …’

  ‘Cold,’ he finished for me.

  ‘Yes,’ I admitted.

  He nodded contemplatively. ‘I’m not cruel, Sophie. I’m intelligent. I use my intelligence in a way that is unencumbered by emotion or affect, and so to others it seems cold. I seem cold. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t know the value of love, or how precious it is, or how unlikely it is that Luca has found it at all. I am not cold,’ he repeated. ‘Despite the mask I wear.’

  ‘You wear it a little too well, I think.’ I was still searching for the person underneath it. I had never seen him act so human, so relatable. I never thought he would be that way with me.

  ‘Yes,’ he agreed. ‘I’ve been wearing it far longer than the others.’

  I traced a pattern on my jeans, too shy to look at him, as I said, ‘I didn’t mean to make such a mess … with Nic and Luca. I just … I couldn’t help it.’

  Was I really talking about making out with Luca directly to his twin brother who was also the boss of our entire Mafia family?

  Yep.

  Valentino steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. ‘For someone who has waded through so much violence and hate, and had her world tipped upside down and all those she loves fall out of it, I think your decision to open your heart to love is a commendable one. You know, it is braver to love when hate is the easier option. Impassivity is an easy mask to wear, but it takes the most out of you.’

  ‘Don’t you think it makes you vulnerable?’ I asked. Wasn’t that why I had been hiding my desire for Luca all this time, trying to stamp it down, trying to ignore it?

  ‘Yes,’ said Valentino. ‘But allowing yourself to be vulnerable does not make you weak, it makes you strong. It makes you brave. And most importantly, it gives you more to live for.’ He made the shape of a gun with his thumb and forefinger, and pointed it at an imaginary target behind me. ‘It is hardest to kill the man who has the most to live for.’ He took a pretend shot. ‘The empty, the soulless, the hate-filled enemies drop like flies. Those who love, and love hard, are the ones left standing.’

  ‘Well, damn,’ I said, smiling. ‘I forgot how wise you are.’

  Valentino’s laugh was a lilting melody. ‘I think too much, Sophie. It’s not always a good thing.’

  It was infinitely harder to dislike or mistrust Valentino when I was on the same side as him. Here he was – funny, charming, empathetic and interesting, everything I thought he wasn’t. It was as if gaining Luca’s affection had loosened Valentino up too. He was showing me a sliver of who he really was. In the end, they weren’t all that different from one another.

  ‘You surprise me,’ I told him candidly. ‘I never thought we would get to talk like this.’

  Valentino pitched forward again, closing the distance between us. I mirrored him unconsciously. ‘Here is another surprise, Sophie,’ he said, his voice low. ‘I know you didn’t kill Libero Marino at The Sicilian Kiss.’

  Abort. Abort. Abort. Every drop of colour drained from my skin as I sat beneath that icy gaze, struggling for a way to respond.

  Valentino’s grin turned wolfish. ‘Don’t try and lie,’ he said, raising his finger as if to wag it. ‘I
find it personally offensive when people lie to me. It insults my intelligence.’

  Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

  I forced myself to say something. The longer the silence, the deeper his thoughts. ‘How?’ I asked. ‘How did you find out?’

  ‘I know you, Sophie. I also know what my brother, Luca, sees in you. Does that surprise you?’

  He was speaking in facts. The emotion was gone.

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said.

  ‘If you had put a bullet in Libero Marino’s head that night, it would have changed you. And despite a slightly increased desire for bloodshed and, evidently, romance, I find you decidedly unchanged.’

  ‘Oh.’

  He smiled, and it made his eyes look … kind. It made him look like Luca. Not just on the outside, but on the inside, too. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Oh.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said hastily. ‘I was going to. I really wanted to, but I stalled at the last second and I couldn’t make myself do it. I froze.’

  ‘It happens.’ He waved away my response. ‘I can only assume Luca deigned to dispose of Libero on your behalf.’

  ‘I don’t know. I can’t remember.’

  Valentino’s laugh caught me off guard. ‘That’s good,’ he said, still chuckling. ‘I was hoping you’d lie for him. Luca deserves someone who would lie for him. Even to her boss.’

  I squeezed my eyes shut. If only I could make myself disappear.

  ‘Just as he lied to me that night,’ Valentino continued. God, he had the whole thing figured out, and I had been skipping around like a regular Houdini, thinking how fortunate I was for getting away with my cowardice.

  ‘Please don’t be mad.’ I looked up at him imploringly. ‘It was such a crazy situation, and everyone got their wires crossed …’

  Valentino’s laugh reignited. ‘Still lying!’ he said, mock-accusingly. ‘You can stop now, OK?’

  I decided to shut my mouth. I was probably just adding insult to injury at this point.

  He sat back in his chair with a sigh, the smile still fixed on his face. ‘You know what I felt tonight when Luca told Nic that he loved you?’

  ‘Abject horror?’

  ‘I felt relief,’ he said. ‘I’m relieved that my brother is in love with you, because it makes the lie he told me easier to stomach. I can understand it. He was protecting you. He wasn’t putting distance between us, but placing himself in front of you. That, I can understand. That, I can forgive.’

  ‘Why didn’t you say anything? If you knew all along?’

  ‘I didn’t want to tip Felice off.’ Valentino scrubbed a hand across his buzz cut. ‘If he knew Luca had lied to me, he would see it as a weakness in the family, and he would find a way to exploit it.’

  ‘Ah,’ I said, nodding in agreement.

  ‘It’s a full-time job keeping things from him.’

  ‘I can imagine.’ Evelina’s ruby ring flashed through my head. I blinked the image away, replaced it with the image of Felice’s face inches from mine, his hands around my neck as he slammed me into that alcove, whisky on his breath, hatred in his eyes. All the things I had overheard, all the lies inside him. And in that moment, I knew I had to say something to Valentino. If I could throw myself in the firing line for Luca, for loyalty, I could do this too. I could be a good Falcone, even if it meant standing against another member of the family.

  ‘I want to tell you about something that’s been troubling me,’ I said.

  Valentino went very still, his eyes narrowing. ‘Oh?’

  ‘I don’t like Felice, Valentino. And I definitely don’t trust him. I thought it was because I was an outsider, but ever since I came to live at Evelina, I’ve realized it’s not me, it’s him …’

  Valentino raised his eyebrows, as if to say, Continue.

  I knitted my hands in my lap, took a breath, and said, ‘I heard him talking to Paulie early one morning a little while ago. He didn’t know I was there. I didn’t intend to eavesdrop, but I couldn’t walk away. Not when the things he was saying were so troubling.’ I paused, studying Valentino’s face for a reaction. It was perfectly impassive, which I had come to realize meant there was a whirlpool of thoughts going on inside him. ‘When Felice noticed me listening, he followed me into the hallway and threatened me with his gun …’

  ‘I remember,’ Valentino said. ‘Luca told me about this.’

  ‘I think Felice had been drinking …’

  ‘Yes,’ he confirmed. ‘He always loses himself around the anniversary of Evelina’s disappearance.’

  ‘Well the stuff he was saying to Paulie …’ A flicker in Valentino’s jaw betrayed his mounting interest. ‘He was complaining. At the time, I didn’t think to mention it because Luca was already so angry with him. I guess I thought it might stir up more trouble, but seeing the way he reacts to the others when they fight at home, or how he never seems to interfere in the name of peace, has got me thinking that maybe there’s more to it than that …’ I trailed off.

  ‘What was he complaining about?’

  ‘You.’

  ‘Me,’ Valentino repeated evenly.

  I nodded.

  Another flicker of interest, his lashes lowering. ‘Why?’

  Why hold back now? I didn’t want to keep any secrets from the family, especially not something that might be vital. With the blood war looming, we needed to be sure of everyone’s loyalty, and as far as I was concerned, Felice was walking around with a giant question mark over his shiny silver head.

  Here goes nothing. ‘Felice doesn’t think you’re equipped to lead the family. I think he reckons he’d do a better job … that it should have been him.’

  ‘As we’ve always known,’ Valentino said, unsurprised. ‘Felice has long suffered from delusions of grandeur.’

  ‘I think it’s more than that,’ I hedged.

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘He was complaining about your dad.’

  Valentino’s fingers tightened on the wheels of his chair. ‘Elaborate.’

  ‘Well, I think Felice resents your dad for overlooking him, but as well as that …’ I was starting to think that maybe this constituted ‘stirring’ rather than ‘briefing’, but I couldn’t back down now, not while Valentino was hanging on my every word. ‘I think Felice is under the impression that your father had a hand in Evelina’s “escape” all those years ago … He always thought your father was too sympathetic towards her.’

  Valentino chewed on this new information, digesting it in silence. ‘I see,’ he said at last.

  ‘Why would he think that?’ I asked delicately. ‘Why would there be a side for your father to choose in the first place?’

  ‘Felice used to drink a lot,’ Valentino said. ‘He has since directed his addictive nature to bee-keeping, more or less, but back when he was married to Evelina, there were many times when he would … mistreat her.’

  ‘Mistreat her,’ I repeated, hearing the sudden coldness in my voice. ‘In what way?’

  ‘He would push her around. Berate her. She was careful about hiding it from us. She didn’t want us to see that side of Felice, of their relationship. But you couldn’t miss it.’ His voice got quieter, threads of something else woven inside his words as he went on. It sounded a little bit like regret. ‘She drifted through the house like a ghost. You could see shades of black and purple around her eyes, even beneath the make-up.’

  Suddenly I understood the sadness simmering behind Evelina’s eyes. All that beauty tinged with melancholy. A palace ruled by a violent king. A diamond choker for a noose. ‘Did you ever say anything to her?’ I asked. ‘Or him?’

  Valentino shook his head, a frown tugging at his mouth. ‘I wish one of us had done something, Sophie. Luca and I talk about it often. But we were young, and as much as I hate to admit it, we were afraid. We didn’t have a voice. She always spoke up for my brothers and me, but we never spoke up for her. She was kind to us and we failed her every single day.’

  I could feel the respect he had fo
r her, and the sense of grief now tangled up inside it. ‘You were young,’ I said softly. ‘It wasn’t your battle.’

  ‘It wasn’t hers either.’

  ‘Why did he do it?’ The memory of Felice’s hands on my throat, of his breath in my ear, made me shiver. ‘What’s wrong with him?’

  ‘He was obsessed with her,’ Valentino said, his words woven through a heavy sigh. ‘Rather, he was obsessed with the idea of her. The idea of someone and the reality of someone, when they merge, can make for a dangerous disparity. Felice picked her out of a church choir when she was barely twenty. She was an angel. He fell in love with her and built her a palace, and then when she started speaking up and voicing her own opinions, he didn’t like it. He wanted a doll, not a wife, and Evelina was not a doll.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Valentino went on. ‘Evelina hated how active Felice was in the family, and how much he enjoyed the theatrics of bloodshed. They argued constantly. Felice can’t seem to love in a healthy way. He hit her in front of everyone one Christmas Day. My father ended up knocking him out. He wasn’t going to stand for that in his family, under his rules. My father was a decent man. Felice was always somewhat of a … challenge. Believe it or not, this version of him is much more palatable than the old one.’

  ‘And just when I thought Felice had reached the lowest ebb of my respect,’ I said sourly. ‘What a creep.’

  Valentino didn’t disagree. ‘It doesn’t surprise me that he would suspect my father in her disappearance. My father was always kind to her, and Felice never liked that.’

  ‘That was his own fault.’ I could feel myself getting riled up. ‘He didn’t deserve her. He doesn’t deserve anyone if that’s the way he carries on.’

  ‘Well, he doesn’t have anyone,’ Valentino said, pointedly. ‘Not any more.’

  And there it was – the sting in the tail. Felice might have been horrible to Evelina, but my own father had been worse. He had taken her life from her. Did Valentino suspect she was dead? Or did he really think her missing all these years?

  ‘She and Luca were close, weren’t they?’ I remembered what he had told me about her, how she had made him believe he could be anything he wanted to be. How she had made him believe in possibility. I looked at my lap, suddenly unable to look Valentino in the eye.